Nervous and Anxious

I’m nervous and anxious –two things I usually am not. Tomorrow if my first ultrasound appointment –I’m hoping this is the day that will confirm I am pregnant with an appropriately sized and appropriately developed baby. I guess technically it’s not a baby yet… but to me, it is. I have known now for almost 2 weeks and it has been killing me not to tell anyone. I haven’t even told my parents… but I don’t think I can handle having to take back the news (again). So I’ve been alluding to the fact that I might be pregnant and that “I’m waiting to find out” –which, really just means, I’m waiting to find out if it sticks and if it’s actually going to happen this time. It has been a tough two weeks… I drink socially (a lot) and am never one to turn down a drink, so to sop drinking is definitely a huge indicator of what’s going on. I know that my friends know, but are too polite to say anything. I’m hoping tomorrow will confirm everything and then I can start telling people (including my parents!), but until then Huge and I will just have to keep this a secret.

This weekend is Huge’s brother’s wedding –so I don’t want to break the news to his family before the wedding. I’m thinking after will be more appropriate, but again, I’m sure people are going to wonder when I’m not partaking in the open bar! Sigh, I should have given up drinking a long time ago so that my cover story would be more feasible!