My chunky monkey

Today was Callan's one month doctor appointment and she confirmed what I already knew... we are growing a chunky monkey! Callan was 8 pounds 2 ounces and 21 inches long at birth. He dropped down to 7 pounds 12 ounces when we were discharged from the hospital and at his one week appointment he was 7 pounds 14 ounces, which put him in the 40th percentile. Today (3 weeks later) he is now 10 pounds 14 ounces! Essentially almost 11 pounds -he's gained 3 pounds in three weeks and is now in the 75th percentile. The only thing preventing him from being the fattest baby around is that he is tall -he is now 24 inches and off the height chart. Callan is now 2 feet tall! Ridiculous. And oddly enough, his head, which was one of my biggest worries during pregnancy is 15 inches and solidly in the 50th percentile.

In other news, he got his second Hepatitis B shot, which made him a little angry, but he seems ok now. Overall, it was a great appointment and I'm glad Callan is doing well. His next appointment is at the end of June and he'll get more shots -Boo :(

Dear Callan...

Dear Callan-

I hope to write you a monthly letter (for at least for the first year) and this is the first. Today (well, Sunday) you turned one month old. I can't even believe it, the time has gone by so quickly and I'm sure it's going to just continue that way. Before I know it I'll be packing you up to go off to college -EEK!

Before I get ahead of myself, I need to remember how little and precious you are now. Even in the last few weeks you're already starting to look older and less like a newborn and more like an infant -I guess it helps that you're putting on weight and have already grown longer -the cute newborn clothes we had for you no longer fit and some of the 0-3 month onesies are a struggle to snap as you seem to be growing longer every day and things that fit yesterday don't today. I wonder how tall you're going to be. Neither your dad nor I are short, although we are not extraordinarily tall either. That's the crazy thing, I look at you constantly and wonder about your future... Things like how tall you're going to be, or what you're going to look like when you're older, what interests/hobbies you're going to pick up, even who your best friend will be in school. The crazy thing about having you is knowing the endless possibilities that are available for you and wondering what your future holds. It's like a chose your own adventure book, but the options haven't been written yet. And I hope you remember that... that all things are possible (well, maybe not a Ferrari for your 18th birthday), and that your hopes and dreams are my hopes and dreams for you. I wonder about the type of person you will become and I hope that your dad and I are able to mold you and direct you to become that person. I hope that we are the parents that you deserve and that you always remember how much we love you.

This month has been a whirlwind, with a constant stream of visitors -first your nana and papa from Boston and then your grandma and grandpa from Montreal and all your friends here in Chicago. You are definitely well loved and people are excited to meet you. I know I was. I was so anxious and excited to meet you and when you finally arrived on April 22nd, I wasn't nervous at all because I knew you were my baby and that I was your mom and that we were going to be a good fit. You are my first born, my first son, my first child and I knew that you would change my life forever and I was so, so excited and very ready. You are my baby pies and always will be -even when you're 13 and don't want to be seen in public with me, or when you're 18 and off in college... or even when you're 30 and off and married, you will always be my baby pies because you are what made me a mom and turned your dad and I from a couple into a family.

Happy one month birthday baby pies. I love you and can't wait to see what's in store for us in the months ahead.

Love,

Mama

This was the first picture taken of you (by dad):

And our first family picture. Look how much you've changed in a month!

Week 3

Callan turned 3 weeks old -time is flying. Huge's parents are visiting from Montreal so it's been great having them help around the house and they are loving the time with Callan even though it's cutting into my snuggle time with him. We didn't do much this week since the grandparents are visiting, but the weather was unseasonably warm (in the 80's) so we were able to get in a few walks while the little guy was sleeping. We're still trying to figure out a schedule, but for now he seems to be eating about 2 to 2.5 ounces every 2ish hours during the day (still bottle feeding breastmilk) and at night we've been able to stretch out his sleeps and he usually gets in one good 3-4 hour stretch (a few times he's even done 5 hours!), but nothing consistent. He's averaging 21-25 ounces a day, so he's pretty much right on track, but sometimes it's hard to tell if he's fussing because he's still hungry or he wants to suck. He's been getting fussy in the evenings, which we thought was due to him wanting to eat a bit more frequently before bed, but other times it seems to be an overload of gas... hopefully we can rectify this so he's more comfortable and sleeps a bit better. He's still sleeping in the bassinet in our room, but I'm hoping to start transitioning him to the crib soon. I think once the grandparents leave this week we'll be able to start transitioning him into a better routine both for naps during the day as well as sleeping in the crib.

Callan also had his first bath this week and he loved it. He was content the entire time he was in the water and didn't fuss at all. We will see what happens the next time -hopefully he'll enjoy bath time. Otherwise, nothing else new to report. We had a play date with Michael (Lauren and Ted's baby) and the babies both slept almost the entire time. We took Callan in the Moby to their house and took Callan in his first cab. He was all snuggly in the Moby so he was perfect in the cab both there and back. We're looking forward to lots of summer play dates before I have to go back to work.

I can't believe how big Callan looks now and how much he's changed in the last few weeks. He definitely is taller and bigger than before. Sadly he's outgrown his newborn clothes! We put him in a few of the outfits and his legs and feet are squished and one outfit looks like shorts on him! *sigh*, I'm sure this won't be the last time I say how fast he's changing so I'm just going to enjoy him being an infant for now (even when he's screaming his head off!) and cherish the quiet moments with him... My two guys are delicious :)

Week 2

Hm... I'm going to have to come up with better titles for these entries, but until then, you're going to be stuck with my generic titles!

So Callan is now 2 weeks old. It's crazy to think how fast this has gone by, but at the same time labor and delivery 2 weeks ago seems like it was forever and a day ago.

Nana and Papa left last Saturday to go back home to Boston. It was a tearful good bye (well, for nana at least, Callan didn't seem too distressed), but we will see them again soon when we go out to visit in June. We also had a lactation consultant come out to see if we could get Callan to latch better and eat a bit more comfortably (for me). Unfortunately for me Callan seems to have a veracious appetite and a super strong suck, but not a good latch. We had a great appointment and we were all optimistic about things improving. Unfortunately, after a few days of progress things seemed to deteriorate and I wasn't able to take it anymore. Callan was getting more and more frustrated during nursing and my poor nips were being torn up. The pain and stress of nursing was starting to take it's toll and I decided we had to change the situation. Fortunately I don't have a supply problem so Callan can still get breast milk, but we've decided for the time being while I heal and try to recover that he will be getting it from a bottle rather than directly from the source. I'm trying not to beat myself up over this, but a bit of mother's guilt has already kicked in and at times I wonder if I gave up too easily. I say that we will try it again and maybe once he's a bit older and his mouth is a little bigger, it might be easier. I try to justify it by thinking that he was going to eventually get a bottle anyway as I will be returning to work after my leave is over and he's still getting breast milk, but I still wonder if I should have just tried to work through all the issues. The nice part of giving a bottle is that Huge is able to do some of the feedings and I think he's enjoying that time with Callan.

We had another doctor's appointment this week and Callan has regained the weight he lost and is now just above his birth weight (8 lbs 5 oz). I attribute the gain to the bottle feeding as he seems much happier and more content after meals than he did before. Now the only problem is that I think he wants to eat all the time! He likes to suck on his hands and pacifier and I worry that we give him a bottle instead of just letting him suck to soothe himself. We are still working out the kinks and trying to read the cues, but it's still a learning process for both of us. The past few days Callan has wanted to be snuggled almost continuously, which is fun, but does not make for a very productive day!

Callan also had his first dinner out this week. Huge and I took him with us when we went out to dinner at the Xmarx pop up. He was totally well behaved and slept like a champ throughout dinner. The nice thing about Callan having a bottle is that we can time his feedings and sleep times a bit easier than when he was nursing. We also took him out to lunch, but that didn't work out quite as well as dinner did since he wanted to be held the whole time.

Lastly, our friends Shelby and Mike had their baby boy, Luke, and we can't wait to meet him. Additionally, our good friends Lauren and Ted welcomed the arrival of their son Michael on Monday and we can not be happier for them. So lots of little boys being born and I'm looking forward to watching them all grow up together.

Week 1

Wow, a week has already passed and of course I'm late with the update. It has been an eventful week and Callan has had lots of visitors.

In the hospital on Saturday, Callan's first visitors were the Perman's. Unfortunately due to hospital regulations non sibling children under 12 can not visit, so Ellis wasn't able to meet his new friend. Later that afternoon, Akiko and Jeff came to visit bringing Callan a beautiful hand knit blanket made by Akiko. We were really excited that Callan arrived on time so Akiko could meet him before she left for Hong Kong for 6 months! So much is going to change in that time and we are really going to miss her.

Speaking of meeting before leaving, Huge's coworker, Allison was moving to DC in a few days after Callan's birth, but thankfully she also was able to come meet the little guy. Other visitors on Saturday afternoon included Lamis, Sarah and Miranda. Callan had quite the entourage of lady visitors! Things settled down for a bit before Lauren and Ted came for a visit. All and all it was a busy Saturday!

Wednesday was Callan's first pediatric appointment. We really like his pediatrician and although we were a little late arriving, we all survived the trip. Callan did really well in the car and only fussed a bit at the doctor's. He isn't above birth weight and is a bit more jaundiced than when he left the hospital so we will go back on Tuesday for a weight check and to see how the jaundice is doing.

The rest of the week was fairly uneventful. Nana and Papa were visiting from Boston, so Callan got to spend a lot of quality time with them. Nana loves holding him and can talk and read to him for hours.

Otherwise, things are going well. We are trying to get into a routine and rhythm with Callan and only a few tears have been shed this week (by me). We have had some feeding issues and hearing a baby scream bloody murder really pulls on your heartstrings and makes you feel like you are failing them as a parent. Of course, it's much more built up in your head and the baby doesn't know any better, but it doesn't make those moments any easier. We are really trying to exclusively breast feed, but have supplemented twice in order to satiate and soothe Callan. We are holding off on introducing a bottle until we get the latch/feeding issues down, but in the wee hours of the morning or after a particularly difficult feeding, the bottle is looking more and more appealing. I know that this will pass and we are both just getting the hang of it, but it is very demanding and emotionally exhausting. Hopefully as time goes on we get better and better and this problem will just be a distant memory.

It's been a busy first week for Callan and I'm sure the fun is just getting started.