Oh boy. A year ago (almost exactly to the minute) this little baby showed up for me to love and today I have this crazy, energetic, full of personality little boy. They say the first year flies by and holy moly, they are not lying.
When you first arrived and I got to see/hold/hear you for the first time, I was surprised by how calm the whole experience was for me. I've heard of people becoming overwhelmed with emotion - bursting into tears because of their overwhelming love or anxiety due to the sudden realization of becoming a parent, or finally realizing the full magnitude of how their lives have changed, etc and I was surprised at how I didn't feel any of these things. It actually concerned me a little bit, but then I realized it wasn't because I wasn't overwhelmed with my love for you, it was more because you made sense and fit into my life. It was like finding something you lost before you realize you lost it and you were the missing piece of my life that filled the gap before I even knew it was there. It just seemed natural to have you and even though my life has never been, and never will be the same, I can't even fathom it without you in it. I can't imagine what I would be doing without you and I know that my life would just be a shadow of the life I know now.
Many people wonder about their legacies, about the meaning of their lives or what they are worth... and with you, I don't have that doubt or wonder. I know that you are going to be an amazing person because even though you are only a year old, I can already start to see the person you are going to become, and I know that you are going to be someone I will always be proud of, and more importantly someone you will be proud of being. I hope that I am the mom you need and deserve and can help you grow and develop into that person. Every life will have some bumps, but I hope yours are small. I won't be able to prevent you from making mistakes, but I will be there to help you recover from them and learn from them. Already you have turned into this kind, funny, generous, loving, good natured boy and the world, especially mine, is better off from having you in it.
Happy birthday Callan! You are the best little boy anyone could ask for and I am constantly awed by you. This past year has been amazing and I can't wait to see what the next year has in store for us -I don't know exactly, but I do know that we are in for some great adventures. I love you forever and always.